Manners in Islam: Nurturing the Hearts of Our Youth

Dec 31 / Zidni Institute Team

The Necessity of Refining Hearts

One of the greatest gifts Islam gives to humanity is its deep concern for character. Before Islam built civilizations, it built people. Before it corrected actions, it refined hearts. At the center of this moral foundation lies good manners (ḥusn al-khuluq)—a quality so essential that it defines faith itself.

In a time when many young people are overwhelmed by confusion, anger, and fractured identities, returning to the Islamic cultivation of manners is not a luxury; it is a necessity. Raising youth with noble character is not merely about social behavior—it is about preparing souls to worship Allah sincerely and to walk gently upon the earth.

The Prophet ﷺ: The Living Example of Perfect Manners

Allah Himself praised the character of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ in the Qur’an:

وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ
“And indeed, you are upon an عظيـم (great and exalted) character.”
— Qur’an (68:4)

This verse alone should make every believer pause. Allah did not only praise the Prophet’s worship or leadership, but his character. His patience, mercy, humility, and gentleness were not incidental traits—they were central to his mission.

The Prophet ﷺ himself clarified the purpose of his message:

إِنَّمَا بُعِثْتُ لِأُتَمِّمَ مَكَارِمَ الأَخْلَاقِ
“I was only sent to perfect noble character.”
[Al-Muwaṭṭa’ 1614]

Thus, good manners are not an optional addition to Islam; they are at its very heart.

Why Manners Matter So Deeply for the Youth

Youth is the season in which habits are formed and values take root. A young person raised with good manners is not only polite—they are emotionally balanced, spiritually grounded, and socially responsible.

Islam does not teach arrogance and cruelty. Allah reminds us:

فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ ۖ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ
“So by mercy from Allah, you were gentle with them. And if you had been harsh and hard-hearted, they would have dispersed from around you.”
— Qur’an (3:159)

This verse teaches a profound lesson: harshness repels hearts, while gentleness nurtures them. When youth are taught manners with wisdom and compassion, they feel safe, valued, and inspired to obey Allah—not pressured into it.

Manners Are a Sign of Strong Faith

The Prophet ﷺ directly connected good manners with true belief:

عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ أَنَّهُ قَالَ قِيلَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَيُّ الْإِيمَانِ أَفْضَلُ قَالَ الصَّبْرُ وَالسَّمَاحَةُ قِيلَ فَأَيُّ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ أَكْمَلُ إِيمَانًا قَالَ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقًا
“Jabir ibn Abdullah reported: It was said to the Prophet, “O Messenger of Allah, whose Islam is best?” The Prophet said, “The patient and tolerant.” It was said, “Which believers have the most complete faith?” The Prophet said, “Those with the best character.””
[Al-Imān li-Ibn Abī Shaybah 43]

This hadith reshapes how we measure success. Strength is not found in loud voices or dominance, but in patience, humility, honesty, and mercy—qualities especially vital for young Muslims navigating a challenging world.

This does not mean that one is not stern when necessary, rather this is also part of husnu al khuluq, but Islam teaches us to be balanced and even when one is stern to which degree one can be stern. 

Teaching Manners Begins at Home

Luqmān’s advice to his son, preserved in the Qur’an, is a timeless guide for parents and educators:

وَلَا تُصَعِّرْ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ وَلَا تَمْشِ فِي الْأَرْضِ مَرَحًا ۖ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ
وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ
“And do not turn your cheek away from people in contempt, and do not walk upon the earth arrogantly. Indeed, Allah does not like every self-deluded boaster.
And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys.”
— Qur’an (31:18–19)

These verses show that Islam teaches manners in speech, movement, attitude, and intention—all aspects of daily life.

A Final Reflection

When we raise youth with good manners, we are not simply preparing them to succeed in society—we are preparing them to meet Allah with sound hearts. Manners soften the soul, invite guidance, and make faith beautiful.

In a world growing increasingly harsh, Muslim youth raised upon kindness, humility, and respect become living proofs of Islam’s mercy. They carry the message not only on their tongues, but in their behavior—quietly, sincerely, and powerfully.

May Allah grant us and our youth hearts filled with faith, tongues guarded with wisdom, and manners that reflect the beauty of this religion, Ameen!
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إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ ۚ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ
“Indeed, Allah commands justice, excellence, and giving to relatives, and He forbids immorality, wrongdoing, and oppression. He admonishes you so that you may take heed.”

—[Qur’an 16:90]

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